A hug in a million

Why would an 80-year-old English grandmother keep coming to Switzerland, every year for 50 years, travelling to arrange flowers at the Initiatives of Change international centre in Caux? And why does she remember that hug from a one-armed Afghan? Barbara Down talked with Elizabeth Loy when they were both in Caux this July.

(Photo: Keltoum Boumedjane)(Photo: Keltoum Boumedjane)Elizabeth Loy is not your run-of-the-mill grandmother in any shape or form. Having just turned 80, she has had a career as a soil chemist and later as a biology teacher, living with her husband Brian, a lecturer, in West Yorkshire. Brian, recovering from his first cancer operation, organised a fund-raising cycle-ride from Land's End to John O'Groats. Fifteen other riders joined Brian and Elizabeth for this 1,232 miles cycle ride and raised £21,000 for charity.

Brian died 11 years ago but this hasn't curbed Elizabeth's sense of adventure, believing that anything is possible. Elizabeth has taken part in fund-raising cycle rides in Costa Rica and Cuba and has also recently enjoyed para gliding in India, despite having had two hip operations! They first visited Caux in 1961, Brian working in the kitchen and cutting the lawn. Around 15 years ago Elizabeth took on the huge task of flower arranging for the reception areas, bedrooms and tables. Flowers are an inspiration, she says: 'Flowers speak to people'.

Elizabeth Loy celebrating with her family, who made a surprise trip to Switzerland to be with her for her 80th birthday. (Photo: Keltoum Boumedjane)Elizabeth Loy celebrating with her family, who made a surprise trip to Switzerland to be with her for her 80th birthday. (Photo: Keltoum Boumedjane)Elizabeth's father was the first member of the family to go to Caux. When he returned he told her, 'I think it is the only hope for the world'. This was enough to entice Elizabeth to Caux and the place completely 'bowled me over', an experience of a lifetime, providing her with friends and ‘family’ from all over the world.

One of Elizabeth's friends, Dang Thi Hai, who also lives in England and is originally from Vietnam, one day suggested that they go together to Asia Plateau, the Initiatives of Change centre in the western hills of India. In October 2010 Elizabeth and Hai found themselves on a plane bound for India that would keep them there for seven weeks, eager to meet and make friends, ready to do anything, including flower arranging, offering training and, in Hai's case, providing reflexology.

Elizabeth found that a group of young interns from around the world help to run Asia Plateau, just as a similar group helps to run Caux. One of the interns was a young man from Afghanistan, Khalid Mohammedi, who is in his early 20s. Khalid was born a twin, but unlike his twin (who later died) he had only one arm. At first his family rejected him but 10 days later his mother had a change of heart and took him back. More sadness was to follow. One of Khalid's sisters fell ill and his uncle refused to aid the family financially in order to help her with medical treatment. When his sister died Khalid refused to speak to him for six years.

Khalid MohammediKhalid MohammediWhilst Khalid was still a boy the Taliban killed his father and grandparents, simply because they couldn't speak Arabic. The only way for the family to survive was for Khalid to sell little things on the street, such as biscuits, sometimes even sleeping there at night. The Taliban tortured Khalid because he couldn't tie his turban properly with only one arm.

Khalid later managed to go to school, studying for 20 hours a day and sleeping for four, with a deep passion to become a doctor. Khalid met a lady in Afghanistan who told him about the intern programme at Asia Plateau and he decided to take six months out of his studies to do this, even though it meant missing his final Year 12 exams that would enable him to get in to university.

Khalid was very quiet when he first arrived in Asia Plateau in October 2010, feeling homesick. During his months there he had a dramatic change of heart towards his uncle and wrote to him, apologizing for ignoring him for six years. This apology somehow brought Khalid out of himself. He also phoned his sister and apologized to her for his behaviour towards her. She was moved to tears.

Elizabeth was struck by Khalid's determination to be a doctor – he insisted that the next time he travelled to Asia Plateau he would be Dr Mohammedi. With the great need for doctors in Afghanistan, Elizabeth wondered what part she could play in helping his belief come true. Just before returning home she passed on a gift of £200 to start off a fund for Khalid to get a new arm, as becoming a doctor, particularly a pediatrician, would otherwise be a huge challenge for Khalid. This money came out of Elizabeth's 'charity fund', where she raises money by making cards, selling holly at Christmas and throwing the occasional dinner party.

Back home she visited the headmistress of the school where she used to teach, who generously provided Elizabeth with some spare biology textbooks for Khalid. She returned to Asia Plateau in February and learned that the £200 had set a ball rolling, with several other individuals donating gifts amounting to Rupees 85,000 (£1,180), enough to cover the cost of a new arm. When Elizabeth arrived back at Asia Plateau, Khalid was in Mumbai having had the prosthetic arm fitted and now receiving physiotherapy treatment to help him learn how to use it. Khalid travelled to Asia Plateau on an overnight bus to be there in time for breakfast. It was a wonderful experience for Elizabeth when she was greeted in the dining room by Khalid, both arms outstretched, ready to give her a big hug!

Elizabeth and Khalid with the new computerElizabeth and Khalid with the new computerElizabeth, never one to ask for or expect contributions, was given quite a large sum of money towards her charity fund by conference delegates who had attended one of her wax card-making workshops. When she mentioned to Khalid that there might be a little money for him when he returned to Afghanistan in a few days, he immediately said he would put it towards a computer for his sister. Elizabeth then discovered that a small laptop would cost Rupees 16,400 and that the amount she had been given by the delegates was Rupees 16,000! Before she knew it a friend had given the remaining Rupees 400 and another friend offered to go two hours each way to Pune to collect the laptop. When Khalid was given it he was completely overcome.

Khalid's story still unfurls. He has done well in his first exam and hopes to start university in September. He has flexibility with his new wrist and elbow and says, 'It is wonderful what you can do when you have two hands.' The first computer in the family will no doubt play a big part in the future of Dr Mohammedi.

Elizabeth hopes to return to Asia Plateau in the near future, just as she is hoping to return to Caux next summer. With her love for the unknown and the unexpected, and with a willingness to go anywhere if she feels there is a need and it is the right thing, who knows what the next steps will be?

Elizabeth Loy

What a beautiful story about a woman whose spirit of kindness and generosity is as lovely  as the flowers she looks after at Mountain House!  I am so glad I had the opportunity to meet her and even be her discussion group faciliator at Caux last year. Elizabeth, you bring happiness and beauty  to so many peoples' lives whether it's through your generous donations or your stunningly beautiful floral arrangments.

Thank you , Barbara for writing this story.

Susan

One of the most vivid and

One of the most vivid and heartwarming stories to come out of Caux this year.

Thank you, Barbara and Elizabeth!

A hug in a million

Really its very touching story and inspiring. I had met Elizabeth recently at Asia Plateau, during a coordinator workshop, her sharing was always gave me inspiration. Its really an beautiful example Spreading Love and kindness where ever y are, irrespective of Religion, nations. Thanks for posting it.

Bravo Elizabeth. I sense

Bravo Elizabeth. I sense Brian's spirit rejoicing in this story. Hope to see you in Caux again one day.

Birthday Greetings from Egypt

Hope you had a very happy birthday Elizabeth! Wish you many happy returns of the day and a long, happy and successful life!

God bless you in plenty!

Hoda